The chosen one

I have been having many negative thoughts lately, as I am slowly losing my mind each day just a little bit. I put my family, friends, and sometimes strangers before me and I try my best to help everyone out when I get the chance to. I even give my last 5 bucks to the pan handler on the corner of north road and lougheed everytime I am there just for washing my windows, even though they really make it worse most of the time. I really give it my all to make everyone around me satisfied and never ask for anything in return. I even lend out money to friends who need it for rent, even though they are dumbfucks who gamble it all away. I consider myself a generous person, I usually take people out for dinners and drinks. I also take care of cab fares, because I have some cheap fucking friends who wait till the last fucking minute to get their wallets out because they know if they wait just that extra fucking second, Joon will take care of it and they will save themselves a couple extra dollars.

I believe I have been a faithful christian for the most part of my life up until the last couple of years. I have slowly been losing it, and my faith is only declining by the minute. I do believe that you exist. I know you exist. I believe that, as hard as you listen and answer prayers for others, you reject mine and try to ruin me. I believe that you sent me down here as a dummy, that when you needed a good fucking laugh you'd just twist my fate and ruin me for your own enjoyment. All the negative events that have happened to me can't just be a coincidence, nor a test of some sort. I am glad I can be your entertainment all these years as you continue to ruin me, and let me fail in everything I try to do. Go ahead, throw my back out again right before my pro qualifying golf tournament, it was only my life. Put that 8 on the river to bust me when I'm 3rd with 10 people left in the sunday million. I'm sure the laughter and watching me in pain of knowing I'll never make it was worth it. I wish I was never introduced to you. I wish I was never tricked into believing you were a saviour, when all you ever did for me was the exact opposite. I hope you have had a great time fucking me over since day fucking one, but I know I don't have much time left and I can't wait to leave this joke world you created. Thanks for making me your chosen one, I hope u have had a great time creating misfortunes and heartaches.